Excitement in the air.

So the countdown has begun. In a little over 12 weeks I will be flying out to Salt Lake City to start my new life. I am so excited! I just feel sometimes that I am never going to get there. I feel like my life has hit a stand still, and I know that it is the anxiety of the waiting period. I am so thankful for all of the support that I have had here in Cullman. Recently I have became very close to the members of my ward, and it makes this more more difficult than it was to begin with. I am under a lot of stress right now, and I am keeping a headache. I am going to miss my Mom so much. I really need a cleansing of my thoughts. Deep prayer will work.. I know it will. Man this post is getting scrambled.

On to other things. I am finding cat humor more funny every day. I guess I will look at anything to get my mind off the situation at hand. Normally I can find humor in almost anything, but today I feel depressed, and not wanting to laugh much. I am never like this. I know it is my home life. I don't want to hang out at home because if I do for too long, something gets said to hurt my feelings. I live in constant fear for my emotions. I want to spend as much time with my Mom as I can, because Utah is so far, it is going to be difficult to spend time with her after my move. But when the rest of the family comes home, it is so hard to get a word in edge wise. I'm not working right now, at least until I get my surgery- therefore I have no income. I am using my Utah money to get me through. When I buy something like shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush ect. I expect to be the only one using it, but sadly, I am not. I went to get a shower earlier and my shampoo was gone. Nothing at all left in the bottle. I was furious. I know its JUST shampoo, but when I am the only one buying it, it makes it hard to accept the fact that other people are using it and wasting my money. It's things like that that I am tired of. I am constantly being run over, because I don't like confrontation. Instead of voicing what is wrong I pray about it, because I feel better, but it does not make the situations stop. The longer I let it slide the more it happens.

Normally I am not going to be down and depressed, but when you constantly feel like the step child, it makes it hard to enjoy home life. I am just ready for a change. I need it so badly.