One amazing temple trip and one evil cat.

I have often said, well the past few days, that this kitten is super sweet. He is, until he wants something. UGH! Cat scratches were in my past, or so I thought. But hopefully he will have a new home tomorrow. :) And right after I type that, he lays in my arms, grabs my finger and snuggles with it. AW!

I was able to go to the Birmingham Temple tonight. Once again, it was a wonderful experience. I learned things that were amazing, and the spirit was really strong. Just listening to the confirmations was amazing! I really enjoy going to the temple and I am going to try and go weekly when I am in Utah. I should make a wheel with the temples on it and spin it weekly to decide what one I am going to. LOL!

Anyway, that is about all I can type tonight. This kitten is ready for bed, and will NOT leave me alone until I go. Goodnight.

News, News, News!

I will openly admit that there are WAY too many people living under one roof. My step sister started WWIII again, and you know, I would think that I am used to it, but sadly I can't get familiar with the fact that everyone fights all the time. She dangles her son over everyone, when she is LESS than a fit parent. Technically she is homeless, because she gets kicked out of everywhere she lives for acting like a brat. But anyway, so after the huge fight happened I decided that I needed to move up my flight to Utah. I paid $178 bucks and moved my flight up to November 13th. So now I am preparing my move much quicker than anticipated. The fight was not the ONLY reason I moved it up though. Dragging it out was killing my mom and I was wasting my money on gas going from county to county for Cullman activities. The money that was to get me through when I get to Utah until I get a job was dwindling away quickly.

So the luggage is bought, and all I have to do now is pay my pack my stuff and pay my luggage fees. Yes I know, Southwest-bags fly free. Well I didn't know that until AFTER I bought the ticket. Oh well. It's over and done with and there is nothing I can do to change it. lol

And then this kitten situation. Someone dropped off a super cute kitten at the house, we can't keep him, and he needs a new home- and fast! Hm. Craigstlist, anyone?

 

...And last but not least, my step sister Kristen is preggers!!!! We are all so excited. She and her husband Scott are so happy! I think he is more ecstatic than she is lol. While she is excited about buying baby clothes, he is pumped about the shoes. He is gonna be the dad in the delivery room that shakes while cutting the cord, and then passes out. I am gonna try to fly home to be here when she has the baby. I can't wait! And the good thing about it, is that the family won't have to fight to be around the baby, more specifically my Mom. This is such a blessing to have another family member on the way. Now if Bianca will just get pregnant, this picture would look somewhat complete.

I have waited my whole life..

I tend to stay by myself a lot- which leads me to deep thought. I ponder the future, and what it might hold. I become spiritually inclined to study and learn about things to come and things of the past in scripture. I love these little moments that I get, to feel the spirit in abundance. I was watching a video about temples, and the song that was playing in the background was, I Stand in Holy Places. It makes me so happy that I can go to the temple, even just for a small amount of time and be in the house of the lord. It makes me anxious for the events of the future, and so grateful that I am worthy enough to enter such a wonderful place. Once I move to Utah, where a Temple will be so close, I want to try to go weekly. The first time I went, the only time I have went thus far, I was so moved. I rode with a lady from church that has became like family to me, and when we were about to pull in she said, "There's Moroni." I had tears of joy and a happiness that could only come from such an experience. I learned so much while I was there, and I know that I will continue to learn as I frequently attend. Since I joined the church, little things that I didn't understand have became clearer to me, and one thing in particular stood out. A hymn called If You Could Hie to Kolob. Just something about it really touched me, I had a feeling come over me that I had never felt before, and it was almost like a perfectly still voice saying, all is well. I didn't understand the song completely, actually the words kind of confused me, but as I have studied and learned, I have dove into deep doctrine and the song started making more sense. There are still things I need to learn, but I am so excited to be engulfed in the words and teachings of the lord. I am so thankful for the two amazing guys that helped guide me in the right direction- and I guess that is what got me interested in missionary work. To have the opportunity to be a tool in the hands of the lord is amazing. I feel like I have waited my whole life for a truth like I know now. I want to stand at the roof tops and speak to the world about this amazing thing that I have no words for. I am so happy to be in the church, and to gain the friendships I have- to meet the people I have met and to find a family that I feel like I have known my entire life. I love this so much. I love the lord and all his amazing teachings. I am so thankful for the prophet Joseph Smith and the keys he held in the restoration of this amazing Church. I don't know how else to word it- I guess what speaks for me are my tears of joy. My testimony grows stronger and stronger every day, and I know that this is where I am meant to be.

Testing.. Testing..

So I assume this is working correctly lol this is merely a test to see if this app works on blogger :)

Edit: It does. HAHAHAHA

My blessings are in abundance

I was afraid of the move to Orem. I was afraid that I was going to have a hard time making friends. So I added my future roommates on facebook- none of which were LDS. One roommate is from Japan, Nagisa, the other is from California, Michelle. Michelle was interested in the church, so I started teaching her while we waited on the missionaries to contact her. I was thinking, well this is going to be fun, at least I will have someone to go to church with. Then I find out she is moving away. Sadness. So she starts interviewing people to buy her contract for the room, and someone decides to take it and she is a RM!! I was so excited! I am happy to know that I will still have someone to study with, and go to church with. I am sure I will learn so much from her! I got to talk to her tonight, and I feel so relieved! 11 weeks is going to drag on because I am excited to leave, but I have gained a group of friends there that I didn't think I would have so quickly. It is amazing how the lord works. His plan is so perfect, and he has made it so easy for me as far as the move goes, thus far! I just can't contain my excitement! This move is going to be amazing, and I know that I am going to learn so much. I will grow spiritually, faithfully, and mentally. I am so blessed!

It seems that I am never satisfied.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I change my mind.. a lot. If given a choice it can take hours to choose. In this case, cell phones. Now this may not be interesting to anyone but myself, but I have went through probably 50 phones since I was 16. I get one, and decide I don't like it. It's kinda like a little obsession. Some people collect shoes, I collect phones- only I don't really collect, I just change a ton. So I got my first iPhone in February 2008. Since then I have had 4. 2 first generations, one 3g and then the iPhone 4. And now, I am changing again. I don't know why I cant be satisfied. I do the same thing with purses, blog backgrounds, pictures, nail polish and music. Just a few things that drive me insane if they stay the same. But this thing with phones is getting costly. Although I am paying nothing this time, most of the time, that is not the case. Anyway, the people who have known me for a while just laugh at me, but I have realized that it is getting on my nerves too. Maybe I'll be happy with my new one. Probably not. HAHA oh well. Random I know, but I feel better now. Future cellphones better watch out, I'm coming for you! buahahahaha

Missionary Dreams

I have had this on my mind a while and I feel like it is the right thing to do. I wish my one year mark was already here! But even then, I am not sure if I will be allowed to go on a mission, considering my past: being previously married, and although I was not in the church at the time, I still do not know if I will be allowed. I love missionary work. I have so much respect for the Sisters and Elders that give up their social life to serve the lord. It is absolutely amazing. I know it would be hard to be away from family for 18 months and barely talk to them, but I believe that serving a mission is one of life's greatest opportunities.I have often thought about the move to Utah, and what it will bring into my life.. a husband, children, friends.. and I honestly would not mind putting all of that on hold for the lord. His son gave his life for us, this is a small thing compared to that. It could and more than likely will (if given the chance) be the most uplifting experience of my life. Without missionaries, many people, like myself, would not know of this amazing church, the restored gospel, and the personal relationship that I have with my heavenly father. I don't know if it will ever become a reality, so for now I can only pray, study and hold on to my dream.

Maybe a little less attitude and a little more dance!

Today really started out like any other day, until some people decide to be EXTREMELY selfish. So I step in and take care of business. I am pretty stubborn, so I don't back down easily. I just get tired of people treating my Mom like crap, when she is the ONLY one who bends over backwards for other people. Now that it is all settled, I am keeping my distance. I am infuriated- but praying about it. Anywho..

 

Today is Wednesday, therefore, it is Scripture Study time!!!  I got ready and went to the ward for another awesome lesson with the missionaries. After, we all decided to go to Ryan's and eat. Gotta feed the missionaries, poor guys! The are HUNGRY! HAHA. Whatever, those guys eat better than I do! Elder George decided to show off how much he loves okra, and Elder Pendleton showed his appreciation for fried chicken.

Upon leaving Ryan's, I went to game stop to get another Xbox head set, being that my sweet kitten chewed my other one into a million pieces. Who knew kittens could do so much damage?!? And finally after months, I was able to play Halo 3. Now its 2 am, and I should really go to bed. I am so sleepy. I do hope everyone has a wonderful night!

Babies, Babies and MORE Babies!!!

I had the wonderful opportunity to attend two amazing baby showers!

First, Amber Dube. Baby shower/Welcome to the world, Garth! It was held at Kristen Gaufin's home. We had so much fun! Jepoardy and snacks! Even mini cheesecakes that Mary loves so much! HAHA! Garth seemed to have a fun time too! It was such a great night for socializing with the sisters. It made me realize how much I am going to miss everyone. :(

Next we had Kami Drake's baby shower. I have to admit, for me, shopping for a baby girl is easier than a boy- both equally fun, but it is just easier to choose for a girl. The shower was held at Cindy Drake's home. Refreshments, games and tons of socializing! Kami received so many wonderful things for Sipsey! She is going to be adorable, and I can't wait to meet her!

And of course Lily was there being cute as ever! She is so expressive! I know I have only been in the ward for 6 months, but this child has grown so much! It's amazing to watch a baby grow and learn! She is precious, isn't she?

The shower was absolutely amazing! It is amazing how a baby can bring together so many. She is going to be so loved!!! :) I am glad for the turnout, a first baby is so life changing, and I wish Kami and Amel all the best in the world with their little girl!!

..and finally.. CAYSEN!!! We had my precious nephew Caysen's birthday party the same day as Kami's baby shower. I was busy busy busy!!!! He is turning two! Most of the family was in attendance, and it was held at my parents home.

Candiace was there with her son Tucker, and Tanner.. Notice someone missing? Tanner has not mad his appearance into the world yet! But he will be meeting us all on Friday. I am so excited to meet him!

 I have so many pictures of Caysen, and this is my first with Tucker. I thought it turned out well! All in all, the past few days have been so much fun! It is so exciting to see little ones grow and learn!

Excitement in the air.

So the countdown has begun. In a little over 12 weeks I will be flying out to Salt Lake City to start my new life. I am so excited! I just feel sometimes that I am never going to get there. I feel like my life has hit a stand still, and I know that it is the anxiety of the waiting period. I am so thankful for all of the support that I have had here in Cullman. Recently I have became very close to the members of my ward, and it makes this more more difficult than it was to begin with. I am under a lot of stress right now, and I am keeping a headache. I am going to miss my Mom so much. I really need a cleansing of my thoughts. Deep prayer will work.. I know it will. Man this post is getting scrambled.

On to other things. I am finding cat humor more funny every day. I guess I will look at anything to get my mind off the situation at hand. Normally I can find humor in almost anything, but today I feel depressed, and not wanting to laugh much. I am never like this. I know it is my home life. I don't want to hang out at home because if I do for too long, something gets said to hurt my feelings. I live in constant fear for my emotions. I want to spend as much time with my Mom as I can, because Utah is so far, it is going to be difficult to spend time with her after my move. But when the rest of the family comes home, it is so hard to get a word in edge wise. I'm not working right now, at least until I get my surgery- therefore I have no income. I am using my Utah money to get me through. When I buy something like shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush ect. I expect to be the only one using it, but sadly, I am not. I went to get a shower earlier and my shampoo was gone. Nothing at all left in the bottle. I was furious. I know its JUST shampoo, but when I am the only one buying it, it makes it hard to accept the fact that other people are using it and wasting my money. It's things like that that I am tired of. I am constantly being run over, because I don't like confrontation. Instead of voicing what is wrong I pray about it, because I feel better, but it does not make the situations stop. The longer I let it slide the more it happens.

Normally I am not going to be down and depressed, but when you constantly feel like the step child, it makes it hard to enjoy home life. I am just ready for a change. I need it so badly.

Firstly..

I am thinking it has been about 5 years since I blogged. I really don't know what to think about all of this!! I am excited to start really.. Because this is such an important time in my life, I want to write about it, in detail. Firstly I want to point out that nothing is EVER what it seems. I should really start from the beginning. 

Growing up was pretty normal. Okay I lied. Growing up, for me was very enduring. I didn't meet my father until I was two. My grandmother was like my second mom, and my mom played the mommy and daddy role. I've never had a good relationship with my father, but that is another story. My sister came along when I was 4 1/2 years old and we didn't have a good relationship either until we became adults and a lot of things happened around the time my sister was born that affected my relationship with her. My grandmother was the main thing though. A year and two days after my sister was born, my grandmother (Mamaw) passed away after a 4 year fight with breast cancer- and I am still not over it. I was a pretty normal teenager, but after I met my high school sweetheart things went down hill. We were together for 3 years, and the entire time, I was cheated on. I admit, I had anger issues, but after everything in my life, I was a sad child. I was never happy and so to counter act the anger and sadness after our break up I resorted to drugs and alcohol. I became the person you wouldn't want your children hanging out with. I WAS the bad influence. I was the kid that made their parents lives a living hell. 

Until one night.. I had enough. I was tired of resorting to drugs for happiness. I knew I was hurting my family. So I broke down and prayed. I fought and cried for an hour until I gave up. I gave up fighting with the lord about the control over my life. I quit drugs that night- which was sometime during 2006. But still I had control, the lord helped me through the rough life I was living. I became normal once again. I worked and hung out with my friends, until the point that I was becoming an alcoholic. Drinking every night, and thinking that if I didn't have alcohol in my system that I couldn't be happy. Once again I started falling into that same familiar black hole. I met my future husband sometime in the Spring of 2007. We started dating in October 2007 and were married May 31st 2008.  Everything was perfect, for about 6 months. Then the fights started happening. We argued about money more than anything. He said I blew money, but he never gave me more than 20 bucks at a time. Not to mention that at the same time my mother was battling the very thing that killed my grandmother.. I was so depressed. I never told people about the financial situation we were in, and how unhappy I was becoming. I started falling out of love with him, and made excuses as to why I was feeling this way. I didn't know what to do.

1 month before our 2 year anniversary, I started to realize that things needed to change, and very quickly at that- and then something happened. I met two amazing guys. Ministers from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Now, if you don't know about these guys, let me just tell you- they are some of the most selfless, hard working awesome people you will ever meet. My first encounter with them was in December of 2009, but I wasn't interested. I had too much control over my life. But in April, it was like, I was ready.. and I had waited my entire life for that moment. To hear about Christ, and to know him and to build a relationship with my father in heaven. I will post my conversion story later, because I there is so much detail. I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would turn my entire way of life around because of my faith in Jesus Christ. I became so happy that I realized how miserable I had been. My husband and I decided that a divorce on good terms, which would be better than trying over and over again, to let it all end violently. I made excuses as to why I was not happy at the time, but I knew in the end.. I knew. So now i'm single and loving my life. I am okay with it. I know that there is more out there than this little town in North Alabama. There is a life and a plan that is so much bigger than I am. The eternal aspect has came into play, and it is wonderful! 

I decided to move out of the state. To get away from things here, and leave it all in my past, where it belongs. I am starting my life over. I am so excited to see what else the lord has in store for me. So this is my blog. It will be random at times, and make no sense and other times, it will be so deep, that it will completely destroy your mind. My name is Jenna Gay, and this is my life.