How do I compete? How do I compete with something so great that the very thought of it, flushes me out. I fell like a complete nobody. Almost always. What I want, I can't have. And it is so sad to me because I know there is much happiness involved, and it just isn't meant for me. So maybe this move will do my heart some good.. Or maybe it will just give me an opportunity to fail at what I thought could very well be the most amazing thing in my life. Maybe it's not meant for me at all. Im afraid of the unknown. I want to put it all in gods hands, and let him guide me.. and I know, he knows what he is doing. I just wish I knew... I wish I knew what my future holds, and if I will ever find the missing piece to my life. I want to feel complete.. because for years I have felt completely empty. ..and I don't want to feel like that anymore. I don't want to feel like this ever again..
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