How Different Would It Be?

I have been thinking a lot about people that "got out" of Alabama.. my friends, classmates, teachers.. and how much all of our lives have really changed. Moving away from your home changes you, much more than just growing up and graduating. I am never going to be one to say that I am better than others, that I have so much more, that my choices were better- let me just say that. But, I look at pictures of people that I used to know, not just from Bama, but Michigan too.. their lives have changed but one thing they all have in common is that they party.. a lot. Now, I used to party, heavy drinking and what not but I feel like I out grew that life style. That is not something I want to raise my children in, and it is not a front that I want society as a whole to judge me on, because even when I did it, it was not who I was. 


My life has changed so dramatically. Instead of a party town, I moved to a education and family oriented town.. Instead of the beach, I went to the mountains. Instead of the parties, I bowl with my close friends and have movie nights. Instead of racy revealing clothing, I chose a modest wardrobe. Instead of smoking as a hobby/habit, I knit and crochet. Instead of booze, I chose water and non-caffinated beverages. Instead of getting ready on a Saturday night to party, I get ready to worship the lord. Instead of a bar, I choose the temple. Instead of idols, brands, and people I chose God.  


So many people think that I am not the person I was before because I do not drink, smoke, party, wear provocative clothing, party on the weekends. I spend my Sundays for three hours in the morning at Sacrament Meeting, Sunday School, and Relief Society and then I attend Ward Council, then I have my weekly meeting with the rest of the Relief Society Presidency. I spend my Sundays with my friends, I read my scriptures, watch church/ gospel related movies.. then at night I go to Ward Prayer- where the members of my ward meet for about 30 minutes- we have a spiritual thought, a song, treats and most importantly a short prayer. My Sundays are busy, but they are my favorite day of the week.  Monday nights, instead of drinking at happy hour, I go to Family Home Evening with members of my ward and we have activities and spiritual thoughts. At any day through out the week, I attend the temple and do work for people who have passed away already. I serve my father in heaven all week.. and I wouldn't have it any other way. 


It is crazy to think about how much my life would be different if I had not made the choice that I did almost 2 years ago. My life is so fantastic- and it is full of friendships that have so much depth and life. When I was in the hospital for 3 days in Alabama in September of 2010, not one friend came to see me. The only people that came were a few people from church. But my friends, well of course they were too busy, and I understood, because that is the only thing I could do. When I went to the hospital for my surgery, a friend iwas with me.. Mariah. She never left my side. I had countless friends come visit me, bring me gifts, and just stop by to see how I was doing. They legitimately wanted to help, they wanted to put a smile on my face and know that they are there for me. Friendships like these are so rare, and I have so many. I am blessed beyond belief. But I know why I have these amazing people in my life.. its because I have the gospel. I have a relationship with my father in heaven, and his son Jesus Christ. I am blessed because I obey the gospel. 


So when I say that friendships like these are rare, I mean that I have never had them before. I have never had friends to drop everything just to check on me, to put their life on hold to be by my side, or to follow up everything with them knowing that no matter what I need, they are there. 


I wonder how differently my friendships would be if I had moved somewhere else, if I had never joined the church, if I didn't know my father in heaven.. Would I of had the massive support that I have now? Would I have someone there at all times just so I felt comforted. I don't think so. Its nice to sit back and think about all of the amazing turns my life has taken. As for my friends who chose differently, would their lives be as different as mine, had they made a different decision? Most likely. If you are happy, then that is great, but true happiness lies in the gospel.. The booze, parties, smoking, drugs, idols, bars, clubs, expensive jewelry you can not take into the next life, so then why does it matter so much now? The gospel.. that is something you can always have with you. It is true, undying happiness.


Just a few thoughts, and a reflection on all of the amazing people I am blessed to have in my life. 

My New Start

So I had my surgery on Wednesday, February 15th. I had to be at the hospital at 5:30 am and I was back in surgery about 7:30 or 8. I can't quite remember. I was weighed that morning and my weight before my liquid diet was 275, and on the day of surgery it was 266. When I was wheeled into the operating room, I was still fully awake and I looked over and saw the table full of the instruments that would be used on me. Instant panic attack. Next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery. I was so sore.. oh so sore. Like I had been beaten from head to toe. My surgeon said that the surgery was "text book" meaning, it went perfectly and I was the perfect candidate for the surgery. Everything was going really well, I was starving but I mean who wouldn't be? That day I had to swallow this nasty liquid stuff in radiology to check for leaks, once I was given the OK, I was back in my room. I was on clear liquids for the first two days, then I was on the phase 2 diet, which was full liquids meaning protein shakes, puddings ect.

 3 days later I was running a fever, so they decided to keep me another night. After a couple of tests it was concluded that my bowels were not working, and that they needed them to before I was to go home. I was so scared, because I didn't know exactly what they meant.. and what harm this could do to me. So I did the one thing I could think of, and called some friends for a blessing. Within an hour, my bowels were moving- what a miracle. I was so happy.


I was kept one more extra day, total of 5 days and then on Monday I was sent home. I did pretty well that day, until that night, and I was in a lot of pain. I am not going into detail because it hurts just to think about it, but just know if I was ever on the brink of death, it would have been on Monday night. So now I am up moving around, at first I needed help bathing and what not, but now I am doing great. I am still on my phase 2 diet, but the craziest thing is that those 2 ounces that I get actually fill me up! It is fantastic! I love it.. and I weighed myself today and I am down to 250!!! So I have lost 16 lbs since surgery! How crazy is that? I am loving this so much! It is hard, don't get me wrong.. I still want cheese fries, but until I can have normal food, this is doing me just fine. It will be so nice to actually buy clothes at normal stores! :) I have tons of friends that are planning on sharing some clothes with me until I get to my normal size so that is exciting. 


When I came home my roommates had made me a banner, and colored me a picture that now hangs on my wall next to the drawings of the rest of my roommates. Everyone calls my mom, Momma. As they should :) She is the best.

I couldn't have done anything with out the help of my Momma.. she is my rock, always has been.. I am so happy she came to stay with me. Mariah was there every day as well.. she was such a help to momma and myself. I don't think she quite knows how much she blesses both of our lives. So many people came to visit me! It was nice to see members of my ward, my friends come to just check on me. Danny brought me flowers on day 1.. such a nice surprise! Mariah also got me flowers!

My visitors consisted of Becky, Rob, Matt, Brian, Megan, Katie, Aly, Shannon, Gloria, Bryce, Jaelynn, David, Liz, Esteban, Melanie, Brother Gersbach, Brother Tribe, Brian W., Felix, and I think that is it. If I forgot someone.. Im sorry!! You will have to forgive me, think about all of the meds I am on haha I have an excuse. 


This is the day before my surgery. 

So, Momma leaves tomorrow. I am so sad. Having her here makes me miss home so much more. I would give anything if she could move here. :( I go back to work this Wednesday. I am really sad about that too. It is nice just hanging out with my momma and not working. I know tomorrow is going to be so hard on me... I am dreading it so much right now. Gosh, I just feel like crying. I love her so much, I just don't want her to leave.. I wish she could just stay a few more days. It is always hard when she leaves because I don't have family here and she is my very best friend. The only person who has always been there for me no matter what. I truly have the best mom in the world. I do not know one person who's mom does for them what mine does for me. I need to stop crying, it is hurting my stomach.


Okay I am going to bed now. I have an early morning ahead of me with us needing to leave so early. Good night for now.

Day 5

Today is day 5 of my liquid diet. 5 days with NO solid food in my system. I knew this would be hard, I just didn't realize how hard. Right now I am drinking Muscle Milk, Adkins shakes, Ensure, and other high protein liquids. It has been pretty intense. Tasty, but intense haha.

Tuesday I left work at 1pm to head up to Salt Lake City to visit some friends and before I left work I realized that I was running a low grade fever and feeling kinda sick, so I went anyway and attempted to feel better- no such luck. As time went on I felt worse and worse. I canceled my "Last Supper" as in the last real meal before my liquid diet started. I was devastated. So the next morning, my fever was even higher and I felt worse than the night before, so I called into work- I also called in on Wednesday and that afternoon I went to the doctor. Funny story about that visit. The nurse looks in my throat and says, "Oh, it looks like your tonsils are a little swollen.." I was really confused, you see, I had my tonsils removed when I was 15. So the doctor comes in the room and looks and says, well you have more tissue than what you should have for having your tonsils removed. I asked her what exactly does that mean.. she says, "Well they can come back.. rare but it can happen." Great. She ran some more tests and I should find out in a couple of days what is exactly going on. 


So today is Sunday, and I am still sick. I was running a fever of almost 101 last night, and again today. I am just praying that I am better before my surgery or I can't get it. :( I called Rob last night and had him to come give me a blessing. I am so thankful for the Priesthood.. I honestly do not know where I would be today without it. 


On to other things.. My mom will be here in 8 days! I am so excited to see her! It will be good to hug her neck again. This will be her 3rd trip to Utah, she is becoming a pro at flying west lol!!! So the next week will be full of doctors visits and meetings- Fun times! I am just praying that my roommates will help me keep this apartment clean. I cleaned up everyone else's messes yesterday and I would REALLY appreciate it staying clean. I don't want to live in a pig sty and I don't want to worry with it after my surgery. I wish everyone would clean up after themselves like I do. It will be nice to live on my own again eventually. I am actually thinking I may try to find somewhere else to live. I have lived in so many different places since I moved to Utah.. and I hate that.. I hate moving, and I love my ward but if it does not get better soon then I am going to have to find different living conditions- I can't live in a constant mess- its not fair for me to bust my tail cleaning and no one appreciates it enough to clean up after themselves. I trip on things in the hallway nearly on a daily basis, and my living room has been uninhabitable for the last couple of weeks. Finally you can walk in my apartment and feel at home... praying it just stays that way. 


I was able to spend time with Becky recently which is nice. I miss living with her! She was the best roommate ever! and super clean! :) 

Oh and here are some random pictures of Shannon and I.. hahahahaha

I wanted to post a couple pictures of my new car! It is so pretty! It is a 2007 Chevy Cobalt. I have to admit, it is a beast!!! I love it!

All of this food.. I am dying hahaha.. just kidding.. not really dying but a piece of the pizza on the counter sounds fantastic. NO. No no no.... I have to stop this. 


Anyway, so that is pretty much my week so far. Until next time. :)